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“Five Nights at Freddy’s” is far from where I’d choose to be.

According to Editor-in-Chief Sean Scott, spending time with “Five Nights at Freddy’s” is more of a chore than it should be. Photo by Universal Pictures | The Miami Student.

Up until 2020, my exposure to the “Five Nights at Freddy’s” universe was limited to a peculiar TikTok video featuring Jack Black crooning a quirky little tune about the series. I had never delved into the games or explored the intricacies of the lore, and I found Jack Black’s amusing yet slightly bewildering video to be all the introduction I required to the franchise’s characters.

Regrettably, this October, I made the (rather regrettable) decision to venture beyond my comfort zone by watching the very first (and hopefully, the last) “Five Nights at Freddy’s” movie.

It was a disappointment.

For those fortunate enough to remain unacquainted with it, “Five Nights at Freddy’s” is a PG-13 horror film starring Josh Hutcherson, known for his role in the “Hunger Games,” as Mike Schmidt. The movie follows Mike as he grapples with retaining custody of his sister while working the night shift as a security guard at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a defunct establishment resembling Chuck E. Cheese, complete with a set of homicidal animatronic robots.

The film kicks off with the previous security guard meeting a rather tame demise at the hands of these animatronics and then meanders through a lengthy exposition of family drama, emphasizing Mike’s struggle to keep custody of his sister. If this sounds unexciting, it’s because it is.

I had anticipated this movie to provide unintentional comedic relief, but instead, I found myself thoroughly bored. Extremely, excruciatingly bored.

The movie makes an attempt to convey the existence of a complex lore within the series, but it falls short of expanding upon that lore in any meaningful way. Yes, the animatronics are possessed by the spirits of children who met untimely ends at the hands of the venue’s owner. That’s clear. But does the owner have a compelling motivation? Not really. Do those unfortunate kids exhibit any distinctive personalities? Absolutely not.

If the movie had taken a page from “Cocaine Bear” – embracing over-the-top violence and sheer madness while acknowledging its own absurdity – it might have been a tolerable experience. However, it turned out to be a tedious journey.

The film’s most significant shortcoming undeniably lies in its tone, and there are multiple issues to choose from. It vacillates between mundane family drama, PG-13-constrained horror, and a chaotic middle section that defies categorization.

Right after the animatronics claim the lives of four individuals, Mike and his sister indulge in a slumber party with a police officer and proceed to build a fort with the animatronics’ assistance. This abrupt tonal shift immediately undermines what little ominous atmosphere the animatronics managed to maintain, which was already quite minimal.

Beyond the issue of tone, the acting leaves much to be desired. Elizabeth Lail’s portrayal of Mike’s cop friend and presumed love interest, Vanessa, is characterized by a distinct lack of depth. On numerous occasions, Hutcherson’s delivery resembles that of an audiobook narrator rather than an actor in a film. As for the child actors, they exhibit the qualities one might expect from their age and experience.